Thursday, March 28, 2013

Needing Women

And motherhood feels at once timeless,
And brand-new everyday.
A well-practiced art, impossible to prepare for...
since you don't know your child 'til you know hir.
And despite lessons learned through example or lack thereof,
I find I still need women.

Need my grandmother who skypes with me during the day,
when I'm home alone, overwhelmed by motherhood looking for an escape.
Patient conversations about how to prepare chicken soup or turnips or greens,
anything to make the loneliness fade away.

Need my mother who still without fail, tends to me her child,
reassuring me again and again, that her love for me began before she knew me,
and will continue, whether I always know myself or not.
I may be first mother to others, but always first child to her.

Need my sister who is my oldest friend,
and a life long inspiration.
Who am I, if not the application and extension
of girlhood dreams crafted by two sets of hands,
two hearts, and minds, rarely separate, Tina AND Tana.

Need friends, near and far.
Women who knew me as a girl, and now grow with me as women.
Women who listen to my fears, and reflect my greatness.
Women who form bonds with me without the gentle encouragement
of blood or kin, but for the sweetness of a good laugh or the contentment
of sound thoughts and ways.

I've never understood those who purport to not associate themselves with women.
I know there is usually a caveat for family (and those as close as family),
but still....
Still, I need contact with women, despite a fantastic, loving, adoring husband.
Still I need the type of affirmation and confirmation of shared experience
that only women can provide.

I need and would have a hard time living without other women.

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