I breathed, and tried to imagine what a good life is to me.
It's hard to separate what I think, from what others suggest or think.
It's hard to know if incorporating new information is any better than working from my reserves.
Where does happiness fit in?
What about pain, discomfort, or struggle?
Sometimes when the night winds down and I feel weighed down by whatever, I think to myself will tomorrow end just the same. Will it really take as much extra as it feels like now when I barely have enough to make it to the next significant task?
I have a good life, a great one even, and I try to remember that, but this life isn't easy, it isn't free of frustration or fear. It's complicated.
I like to imagine myself a good person, trying to live a good life, and then I wonder what that truly means... its still unclear. Am I just lazy is a question that swims in my mind over and over again..