Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Rut
I'm in a faith rut. I'm finding it hard to understand and communicate with God. Sometimes I feel so distant and the Bible seems like an imperfect manual at best. How do I hold on to my relationship with God when I'm so often confronted by philosophies that compete with my understanding of justice (in the Bible). My issue currently is not belief in God, I'm sure God loves me, because that's what God does, loves us beyond our comprehension, all of us, saints and sinners alike. Although I struggle, I believe God is with me, but it's hard. I can't explain it adequately, I consider regularly the possibility that some things are God's prerogative and I'll never understand, but I hope to understand enough to never lose faith completely. I hope to understand enough to raise my child to know God and seek a relationship with God for herself, whether more or less strong than my own. I suppose I'm a bit envious of people I know who seem to have lots of faith, few questions (about the Bible or God), and much more peace about the direction they are heading in life. As much as I believe.... I'll be honest and say that occasionally I wonder whether I am trying too hard to hang on to a cultural relic of my childhood/culture, rather than a firm object of my adulthood. My hope is that I'm right that God won't abandon me for periods of a lack of faith, but I don't want to push myself over a cliff of unbelief that I can't find my way back up.
Thoughts?
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2 comments:
I like to read your blog. It's honest. And I want to comment because just today I started reading "I AM THAT-talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj." I'd heard this book mentioned at yoga events before and saw it in the library the other day. So I picked it up. I haven't got a chance to read it yet (I tried to start it-Xavier stopped me). I did get to read the Foreward. It says: "There are various religions and systems of philosophy which claim to endow human life with meaning. But they suffer from certain inherent limitations. They couch into fine-sounding words their traditional beliefs and ideologies, theological and philosophical. Believers, however, discover the limited range of meaning and applicability of these words, sooner or later." Of course, I was only raised in a loosely Christian way (my grandmother did have incredible faith), but I don't think you have to take the Bible as Truth. I believe that God is immanent and that there are many wonderful and beautiful stories in the bible, and many great morals to live by. But if parts of the Bible don't feel like Truth to you then I think you can disregard those parts. LOL. I know I'm a heathen in the eyes of many Christians but I think there are many ways to have a relationship with God. If you're in a rut, maybe you could explore a new way of communicating with God. (Of course, I would recommend yoga ;) One of my yoga teachers main gurus (literally, remover of darkness) is Father Joe Pereira who started the Kripa Foundation. So yoga and Christianity mix nicely together! HUgs from us xoxo
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Shanna. I think you are right, there are lots of ways to have a relationship with God. Sometimes it takes some reminding that like any relationship, my relationship with God may take figuring out a new way to communicate sometimes.
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