Thursday, January 26, 2012

A year of SAHM

When my daughter grows up, I want her to feel capable of achieving her goals.  I want her to sidestep the guilt and shame of imperfection, to be whatever she dreams of being.  I want to be an example of living a fulfilling life.  I want her to know me and the women who helped shape me, and to know without a doubt that she can have it all.

Once I was at a Council of One Hundred event at Northwestern.  They have a mentoring program for women and one of the council members was on a panel.  Someone asked about having it all, referring to being a professional and a mother (and wife) and the person said (and I paraphrase here) "sure you can have it all, just not at the same time".

Now I've repeated these words a couple of times and been looked at askance on more than one occasion.  I've repeated it, not because I think its 100% true, but because I think its an interesting perspective that deserves more exploration.  Few of the people I've said this to have indulged me thus far.

I'm willing to admit automatically there is something unsettling about the idea that women need to put their career on hold to become mothers, especially since practically no one would accept that supposition for men.  But there's hope in the statement for a young college educated stay at home mother like myself.  There's the suggestion that at some point it will again be socially acceptable to pour too many hours and too much energy into our chosen field/industry, as opposed to our children.....or something like that.

It's been about a year since I started my stay at home mother(hood) journey.  Sometimes I struggle, and sometimes its the best job in the world.  I've decided that while its important to me to have a presentable home that can be visited upon on surprise... while I enjoy walking out to a clean apartment in the morning... while I enjoy sharing a good meal I've prepared, I still yearn for something more.  I know its obvious, but worth stating out loud, I have thoughts, ideas, programs I'd like to develop and I aim to do so.

Change, progress, life happens one step at a time.  I'll keep you all updated along my way.  I know I may have had similar posts before, but I find myself energized for another push forward recently.

Blessed beyond measure to be her mom.

1 comment:

Chike said...

And what an amazing SAHM you are. Always know that you have my full support as you decide what else you might like to do and be...